Eurovision Song Contest 2022 - Semi Final One

Hi everyone, just a quick note from me, I was thrilled to discover this morning I have now passed another milestone for this blog, 25,000 views! Thank you all so much for reading the blog, and following my journey through life!

Hello, and welcome back to another review of the Eurovision Song Contest, or ESC for short. This year we are in Turin, after Italy's win with Maneskin last year in Rotterdam. Seeing as it's arranged by Italy, I'm sure we can expect a stylish and flashy show from the outset. I will be reviewing and commenting on all the songs in the semi finals, as well as the general show itself, and James will join me in the final. I will also be giving out my own sets of points too. Who will recieve my 12 points? Will there be any changes in the leaderboard? Will the qualifiers change? We shall soon see! So, without further ado, let the show begin!

This years theme is the sound of beauty. I guess we shall

 decide that when we hear some of the competing songs!

We begin with a video of a man in his workshop fiddling about, before a small explosion creates him a drone. I think there's some artistic license here. This is a bit random, and a bit cheesy. The drone flies out of the open window, down a dark alleyway and out across Italy. Now it's making a bit more sense. The drone flies into the PalaOlimpico, the venue for the contest

We now get our opening act, and it's very much a lasers in a garden sort of performance. It becomes more intuitive, as the dancers strum the beams of lights like a lyre, before we light up and an instrumental performance of "Zitta E buoni" by an angry looking woman with some amazing hair-ography comes on. But she doesn't last long, and then another woman comes on, in a silver jumpsuit that suggests she's just come home from studio 54. She then performs an original song for the contest "The sound of beauty". I'm glad it's being performed now, because I don't think it would have qualified if it was an actual entry. This mismatched opening ceremony continues, with a load of dancers in baggy see through trousers dance, as the silver jumpsuit lady just riffs about.

A quick note about the stage. So far, I think it is fantastic, the giant half moon at the back, which changes in colour and really works with the rest of the stage beautifully. I love the running water on the edges too, it gives the stage a real feeling of motion, which I think will aid the staging of quite a few countries (reminds me of the 2014 stage in Copenhagen in that respect). Overall, really good first impressions of the stage.

Our hosts tonight are television presenter Alessandro Cattelan, singer Laura Pausini, and randomly, singer Mika too. The boys are both in black, with Laura in a hot pink gown. It feels very informal though, and surprisingly so, I was expecting very formal and smartly dressed hosts this year. We shall see how we go.

This is of course Italy's third time hosting, and I'm thinking about the voting process form the 1991 contest, where poor Gigliola tried her best to present the votes, while co-host Toto caused havoc by adding in Italian to the mix, and just generally struggling with the voting sequence. I have a feeling something similar may be on the cards here. The hosts now give each other a big hug, like they are siblings. Mika then bursts into French to explain what tonight is all about.

Seventeen countries are taking part in this semi final, with only ten qualifying to the final. We've got a nice mix of countries in this semi final, ranging from heavyweights like Ukraine & Norway, and the underdogs, like most of the others! And we are off! That was a quick start, I almost missed it.

First up this year is Albania, who gets a postcard of some impressive ruins on Sardinia. Now the song is "Sekret" and it's performed by Ronela Hajati. It starts with a dancer having some sort of convulsions, before Ronela starts shouting at everyone. This is almost like a soft porn, she's grinding on her topless dancers with an insistent beat in the background. She's got a lower tone of voice, but just spends most of the time shouting and dancing. To keep us focussed, we almost have our first lesbian moment of the contest, before she attempts some big notes which fall flat, and makes up for it by doing the windmill with her hair. I'm left at the end of the performance trying to understand what I have just witnessed. I'm bamboozled by the whole thing. I think I need a glass of wine after that.

Latvia is next, and it's Citi Zeni, and their song is called "Eat your salad". I hope this isn't going to be preachy. Instead, the opening line is "instead of eating meat, I eat veggies and-" with the audience then shouting pussy! I had to pause because I was laughing so much, I had completely forgotten about this. What a semi final we have so far! The song has an environmental message to it, and the staging just feels so so vintage and fun. I feel like the saxophone player is flirting with me through the screen. The whole thing just has the cool, relaxed fun vibe that Lake Malawi had in 2019 with the Czechia. Bar a slightly dodgy note at the end, this was rather memorable, in a good way compared to what was performed before it.

Neighbours Lithuania are up next, we get some fantastic shots of Bergamo. I swear Italy is one of those places where you visit and everything's just wonderful. Anyway, Monika Liu is performing "Sentimentai" and it's entrancing. It's like a stripped back disco classic, and she performs it in a really interesting way, and you just can't keep your eyes off her. She gives us a slowed down note, before the disco beat comes back, with a darker, deeper edge to it. You feel like you're watching her alone in 1979, sat in a smoking lounge with tan coloured leather sofas and it's a vibe I am loving. Of course in this fantasy I'm watching her wearing a white leather suit, the smoke of my cigar tickling my moustache. Or at least, something like that!

Marius Bear is representing Switzerland this year, with the song "Boys do cry". It's our first ballad of the show, and it's very, very slow. He has a nice voice, but the song is so dreary, I'm nodding off. There's some beautiful graphics in the staging, videos of a child playing, streams of light, hearts on the floor. But it's not helping the song stand out. "mountains may crumble, rivers may run dry" is one of the nicer lyrics, but other than that, it's a snooze fest.

Slovenia is up next, and it's LPS with "Disko". It's our second disco themed song so far, and I will be very happy if this trend of disco, funk and 70's theme continues. It's got that school disco kind of feel to it with the performance, with what I can only assume is the largest disco ball I have ever seen. They're all in 70's style suits, and visually, it works well. Performance wise, it's a little timid, and while I feel that's a stylistic choice, it doesn't quite come across as well on screen. It's a good song, it's got my toes tapping. And it even gives us a slow section to hold your date close. I'll just hug myself instead.

Eurovision heavyweights Ukraine are up next. Their postcard is all about Florence, one of Italy's most beautiful cities. When I went, it was pissing with rain and the river was threatening to burst it's banks. Seems to be a recurring theme whenever I go on holiday!

Kalush Orchestra are performing "Stefania" and before we get into it, I just want to say I'm so glad that the EBU did the right thing by banning Russia from the contest. I think it sends a really important message, not just economically or politically, but culturally as well, that their invasion of Ukraine is utterly unacceptable. I know the contest is supposed to be non-political, but I think to not have banned Russia, would have damaged the contest even more, and no doubt would have made the situation worse.

Anyway, "Stefania" is a Ukrainian language hip hop song, with an insanely catchy chorus that I was humming for weeks afterwards. I think as well, I love the contrast between the modern hip hop and the folk elements. Performance wise it was alright, I felt like at times the performance was really good, but the end part needed a little something more, it started to drag a little bit. But this is what you call a contender.

Mika and Laura are back to ask how things are getting on. Laura asks did we kiss our neighbours, and leans in for an awkward kiss on Mika's cheek. This is very cringy. We then get a video of of the history of Turin, with clips the stage being built for the contest. 4km of cabling is used, which was an interesting fact. Apparently Julius Caesar said "Veni, Vidi, Eurovici!". Did they have Eurovision in the Roman Empire? I know it's been going for donkey's years, so it might be possible! So we may have heard "Duodecim puncta ad!" (twelve points go to). Now that would be an experience. Would last place be fed to the lions at the Colosseum? I feel that might be a valid award some years. The green room seems to be set in someone's back garden, with little hedges and potted trees dotted about.

Bulgaria is next, the song is "Intention" and it's performed by Intelligent Music Project. You may recognise Stoyan on the drums, he previously took part in the 2007 and 2013 contests with Elitsa, and provided Bulgaria with it's first ever top 10 result in 2007 with "Voda". Bringing a previous contestant back can be a good idea, there's experience and a chance to improve. But this is not one of those times. This song just feels off, and I can't quite explain why. I'm not sure if it's because it sounds so generic, or that nothing stands out about it. I'm not sure. What I am sure of, is that it won't qualify. It just doesn't have any sort of audience appeal. It's not until we get a flame surrounded guitar solo that it picks up, but afterwards just returns back to that generic sounding material. It's disappointing, especially when you think the past few years Bulgaria has had some really good results.

S10 is representing The Netherlands, with the song "De Diepte", and this is a song that gives me the chills. It's perfect Eurovision material, simple staging, a simple song with a catchy hook, performed brilliantly. The lights come up in line with the ooh-ahhs, perfectly boosting and lifting them. She performs so well, the emotion in her voice at every turn. Vocally it's really good, and in such a way that you want to know more, you need to know more about her and the song. A very, very talented performer, and this will qualify easily.

Moldova is next, and it's another song that is a feast for the senses. This is also Zdob si Zdub's third attempt at Eurovision, after coming in 6th and 12th previously. They are joined this time by the Advahov Brothers, a nervous looking pair playing the violin and accordion. The song is called 

"Trenulețul", and is all about the train line reopening between Moldova's capital Chisinau and Bucharest. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but again, very catchy and will definitely get voters involved. It will qualify, and I suspect will end up somewhere between their previous placings in the final. It's one of those blends of modern and traditional that always captures my interest!

I'm going to just pause for a moment to make a comment. For a while now, we have had the producers choose the running order of the entries, to prevent similar genres of songs from being next to each other and prevent songs from being overshadowed. I agree with this to an extent, but I feel like each year we get more of these situations where songs at opposite ends of the spectrum appear next to each other, and it sometimes causes problems. So next up we have "Saudade, Saudade" by Maro for Portugal, and it is a very stripped back, hushed vocals sort of song, but I'm still buzzing from Moldova, and for the first half of the song, I'm not really getting into it. We had it last year too, where we just went from a party to a library, and it didn't do either song much service. I think the producers need to keep similar songs apart, but we've got to stop these big jumps, it's not always great for the viewers, or the following entrants. But anyway, now I've said my piece, this is Maro for Portugal. It is so understated and insular, and it forces you to respond to the performance from inside you, if that makes any sense whatsoever. It's got this ambient sort of vibe in the backing track at times, and staging wise, it's very cleverly done. With them in a circle, the camera goes all around, giving you a different view with every shot and it makes you feel involved in the performance. I love they way they sing in unison and harmonise together, it's a really beautiful performance overall. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I think the Juries will love it, but televoter's may not. 

Alessandro and Laura are back, telling us the audience is the sound of beauty. I can't say I agree with the statement. Apparently later on we are getting a tribute to Italian music. I can't wait for that.

Up next, it's Croatia with the song "Guilty pleasure" performed by Mia Dimšić. I think the song is trying to be whimsical, with like first love in the summer kind of vibe. But it's not quite working for me. The lyrics are just very cheesy and verging on in-authentic. Please remember this is all my opinions! I don't want any of you writing a complaint letter to my Mum about it! I also want to know, why she has an asymmetric pink dress on, which actually looks quite nice and works well on her, but has paired it with these black clunky boots, which look more out of place considering that everyone else onstage is barefoot. We then get a verse in Croatian which sounds nicer than the English one. Perhaps because then I don't understand the corney lyrics. Overall, for me, this is meh.

Denmark are next to performing, their song is "The show" and they are called Reddi. Being brutally honest, this is the worst song so far. It just feels so messy and untidy, the song itself is just irritating me. Feels very generic, and something I've heard many times before. Yes they are wearing fun 70's vintage style suits, and I'm jealous of the drummers half black half blonde hair, but that's the only praise I can give it. Am I allowed to say I hate it? Is that allowed? What's going on Denmark, you guys used to do so well. 

Mika is in the green room, in a really fetching light blue suit with scarf. I really like it, where did he get it from? He says we are loud, gorgeous, weird, wonderful and glorious. I remember an ex telling me I was also hateful, ungodly, evil and unbalanced, so it's nice to have a balance of comments I guess. Moving on, we get a video of all the delegations on the turquoise carpet meeting press and fans alike. Back in the arena, it seems only Mika got changed, the others are the same. Perhaps he spilt something on what he already wearing? Bad time to eat spaghetti bolognaise!

We now get to see Austria, this is Lum!x featuring Pia Maria, with the song "Halo". Ok, so I feel like I am in some sort of 90's rave. Vocally, it's terrible, I'm sorry Pia, but this was not your finest work. At times she and the backing vocals seem out of time with each other. But I don't care, this is a banger, with a giant DJ deck surrounded by a circular light that adds to that club feel. I am literally dancing at the standing desk as I write this. Bless her, Pia tries to give us a belt of a note, but it just fails.  I think vocally I could do better, and that's really saying something. I remember doing Karaoke once and the microphone was taken away from me halfway through. But what a song. I think it will be ignored by the juries but celebrated by the televote as long as they didnt hear the vocals. But at the end of the day, regardless of performance or vocals, this is a song contest. Can this banger of a song make it through with possibly the worst vocals this year? We shall have to see! 

We get another jarring jump musically to Iceland now, where Systur are performing "Með hækkandi sól". This is a song, again like Portugal, that you hear from inside you. Again, all are dressed in vintage feeling clothes which I just love. Something about this song speaks to me, although I can't explain why. The running water os the stage adds to the feel of life with this song. It's got a sort of country feel to it. The staging is simple, but the use of camera angles with the harmonies bringing the faces of all three sisters together was a great idea to show that chemistry. I really like this one. 

Greece is next, and they are represented by Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord. The song is the morbidly titled "Die together". Let's hope we don't get our first ever death on the Eurovision stage. Might get you more sympathy televotes though. We start with a close of Amanda's face. Now if you're going to do such a close close up, you've got to make sure everything is perfect and detailed. I'm staring at her eyeshadow and wondering why I can only see the sparkly pink tones when she closes her eyes. Bring it up a bit higher so it compliments her eyes! But the eyeshadow matches her dress, so that's a bonus point from me. She's got a voice that I can't decide if I like it or not. She's a great singer, her voice is very agile, but I'm not sure if I'm connecting with it. Staging is sort of good, the empty chairs surrounding her sinking into the floor, which I think is a great metaphor for the relationship I think she is singing about. Something just feels off about the whole thing, and I can't put my finger on why. I know, I'm not being very helpful today, am I!

If you're needing a little pick me up after two slower songs in a row, then this is the one for you. Protect your grandmothers at all cost! Subwoolfer are representing Norway, with the song "Give that wolf a banana". It is just wild. They are all in yellow morph suits, with wolf features and slick suits. They talk about Grandma, it's so silly but so good. There's a fun dance routine I'm trying to replicate, a DJ spaceman at the back. I am such a sucker for a fun Eurovision song full of gimmicks. Will they be the first wolves to win Eurovision? Possibly so. 

This semi final has been so much fun so far, I'd forgotten how good it was. I'm going to struggle to choose who gets my points. Alessandro and Mika are sat on the edge of the stage by the water, chatting away like they are at the pub. They toss a coin into the water, and that was, pretty much else. I didn't really learn anything else from that seemingly unrehearsed segment.

Now, this next entry is one to watch out for, but not for good results. This is Rosa Linn, representing Armenia with the song "Snap". Obviously, the 2022 contest happened several years ago, but this was the song most people know, due to it going viral on TikTok and other social media platforms. So I guess it stands to be said, you may not win Eurovision, but your song can certainly become famous worldwide. The song for me is nothing special, and while I appreciate the ideas and the amount of work that went into building the set and the performance, it misses the mark a little for me. But the highlight is Rossa, while her performance skills are not fully realised yet, her voice is so pure and beautiful, and you really hear the emotion in her voice as she sings. There's a moment where the wall doesn't quite tear down as planned, but she doesnt let it affect her. Overall, a great voice, but middling song. I think the billion streams she has for "Snap" might disagree with me though!

But that's it! All seventeen countries have now performed, and very soon we will be opening the lines to vote. Obviously you can't vote for your own country...or any one else to be fair, this was three years ago! Our hosts join us again, and Laura has slipped into another bright pink gown. But the voting lines are open, and we get our first recap. Let me know who you would vote for in the comments!

We now get our first interval act, the word Italo-disco was used which caught my attention. Now this is a feast for the eyes, the lights changing colour in time with the music, this is good. The pace changes, and we get a theme of black and red on the stage, with a more synth vibe comes in. There's an especially nice with a pair of drummers giving it some soul on stage. We then get a remixed version of different dance tracks, before Eiffel 65 blasts in. God this is a song I have not heard in ages. "Satisfaction" comes next, and that riff just brings the audience to a cheer. I love the additional drumming, giving it a more modern feel. We drop everything, as Sophie and the Giants comes on, changing the vibe completely. What a fantastic, if a slightly disjointed interval act, I really liked that.

Our hosts are late to the stage, despite the fact we can hear them chatting on their way there. We then get a rather impromptu tribute to Rafaella Carra, one of Italy's greatest singers and entertainers. This segment is now feeling very hap hazard, Laura is just clapping to herself, before telling us about the voting process and how to vote. The transitions are feeling a bit messy now. We get another recap of tonight's performances, it's your last chance to decide your favourites!

Back to the main stage, and it's revealed there is only 60 seconds left to cast your votes. Alessandro tells us we can buy the songs on vinyl which I didn't know, but I do always buy the CD. The countdown is messy, swapping to Italian halfway through, but then again, it's something that Eurovision host's seem to struggle with every year. We got to Mika now, who introduces us to Diodato, who was supposed to be Italy's Eurovision representative in the 2020 contest before it was cancelled. He performs what would have been his entry "Fai rumore", which is a soaring musical masterpiece, that I think was really a challenger for the win. It's lovely to hear the audience singing along at times, it really is a powerful song, brilliantly staged with Diodato seated at a piano as ghostly figures come and go around him. The group surround him as the song reaches its climax, and it's enchanting. I almost in tears, the song is just so well performed. 

We now get a video about Eurovision, using previous entries to discuss the fight between good and evil using Eurovision songs. It's a fun concept, if a little half baked. We now go to Alessandro who is with the JESC winner Malena from Armenia. She's got a wacky hair do, and in a similar pink to what Laura was wearing. Her three favourite things about Yerevan is the food, the people and the magical places to visit. Yerevan is a fantastic place, I was so lucky to visit in 2017, and I can't wait to see it again! 

We now get to meet the Automatic finalists. We chat with France, and most incredibly, the song is not in French. I nearly fell off my perch when I read that. It's in Breton, and this is the first year with no songs in French. After the success of the French language last year, we are going in a different direction. I will of course review the songs after their full performance in the grand final. I think Alvan may just be the hottest man I've ever laid eyes on. Laura and Alessandro are with Mahmood & Blanco, who are on home turf this year. The audience is wild for them. Mahmood came second in the 2019 contest, so he will be hoping to do one better this year. I can't decide if they are going for a lovers vibe or a brothers vibe. Ambiguity, will it get you votes? 

Now, the most important part of the show. We will very soon find out who will be making it through the grand final. We head across to the Executive Supervisor Mr Martin Österdahl, who confirms that we had a valid result. He says "You're good to go" and we really are. 10 spaces in the final, and who will be going through? First to be announced is Switzerland. They are followed by Armenia, Iceland, Lithuania and Portugal. Five spots left! Norway is next, as the first wolves ever to qualify, and are joined by Greece, Ukraine and Moldova! Thats nine spots taken, and the final country to qualify is...The Netherlands!

And there we have it! That's all 10 through to the final. I think that was quite a reasonable selection, obviously I would have liked to have seen Latvia qualify, and for Austria go through, but perhaps the sub par vocals sealed their fate and took away their halo. (Do you like what I did there?). 

Our hosts are jabbering on about the final, and all that's left to say is Ciao to all the Italians living abroad, according to Laura. What an odd thing to say. Anyway, as the qualifying entries play again, I'm very pleased to announce my votes for the semi final, and they are as follows:

1 point for Portugal

2 points for Slovenia

3 points for Latvia

4 points for Ukraine

5 points for Iceland

6 points for Moldova

7 points for The Netherlands

8 points for Lithuania

10 points for Norway

and finally, my 12 points are for Austria! Lets have a look at the scoreboard, and see what that changes.

As per usual, not a lot, but that's always the way! There's a few little swaps about with Latvia & Norway gaining a place, but no changes to the qualifiers.

Don't forget, I'll next be reviewing the second semi final, and I'm sure you can't wait to see my votes change nothing! See you all very soon, and thank you for reading!