The word is a very exciting place

Im really quite a bit miffed, i had a tough but rewarding shift and i come home and just hopped on the internet to see what was going on. So Tom Daley, the famous diver, has just come out as Bi, (i havn't actually watched the video but im too wound up to) Dont get me wrong, he is a good diver, and he has had a tough time, what with his Fathers passing away and the olympics, but frankly i am really peeved. Im more annoyed at the fact he has people like Lady Gaga, Kylie Minogue and Stephan fry tweeting to him and saying congrats and what not. No, i dont accept that. When i came out i got nothing, just like many millions of other people got and what millions more in the future will get. He has pretty much anything he wants, or at least has the means to get them, wheras someone like me has not much. Im just not happy. Everyone always makes coming out seem like such a drama, makes it sound so exciting and that everything will be fine and glittery bubbles will fly out your ass and rainbo...

Hello, i must start by apologizing for the lack of updates recently. Ive just been rushed off my feet all week, and my head is still spinning! Saturday, after i finished work, i ended up going home, getting some breakfast (of the non cereal variety) and going over to my Nans house to help clear out her garage. It was quite late when we got home, and considering i had been awake for 22 hours, done a 10 hour night shift, and got over 20 years worth of shit out of a garage i was, needless to say, exhausted. I slept for god knows how long, and woke up Sunday afternoon with seriously sore shoulders. I didn't do much it must be said, and i just lounged around trying to recover, and to work up the courage and the energy to go back over to Nans for Monday. Monday was the same really. A horrendous amount of stuff to be wrapped up, more bloody vases and china than the population of China, all which had to be wrapped in newspaper and bubble wrap. Again i went home and went straight to s...

Hello, hope you guys are well and good. Theres not much to report on today really. I spent the night sorting out and putting out Denim, which has been neglected since i started doing nights. i do make a conscious effort to try and spend time in there when im on the night shift, but sometimes dosnt happen and it gets more an more muddled. The reason for the title is because i have had the song in my head all night, but i dont mind because it is AWESOME! mind you my Kim Carnes impression needs some work! I find it such a good song, just because it sounds good and it instantly recognizable, while being intensely catchy. On another note, the other mean members of staff that were in all decided to sneak up behind me and make me jump, so im not sure if my heart has returned to its normal rate yet. Im gonna stay up and head to the photo shop to get new photo for my passport taken, so i can get that sent off and redone. I will learn from this i swear. Ive got Bette Davis Eyes! :P

Hello and a hearty good morning to you all. firstly, i am very sorry for not blogging last night, but it was a very manic shift, yet again filled with random stock appearing from now where and an never ending accesories delivery. I never jhave seen so many is my whole life, everywhere i looked, there were scarves. Most of them went out, which was good, and theres only a few stacks in the stockroom. And now for the confession. Well this is a very long drawn out confession which is kind of two events which are really mixed together. Saturday night i went out to see Thor 2, with Becky and her roommate Heather, who was really nice and quite funny. The film was great, my love for Loki has grown, and the real villian in the series, Natalie portmans charector Jane is still a really irritating cockblocker between Thor and Loki. but i digress. We went back to Becky's. Sat and chatted for a while before hitting the edge in fancy dress. Well i say fancy dress, Becky wore a black dress w...

Well that was my last night shift of the week, it was pretty uneventful really. I just tidied, did some repro from the fitting room, and just genrally potterd about. I helped segregate the delivery and at half six i clocked out. Im out tongiht, with Becky and one of her roommates. Were gonna see Thor 2, then go  clubbing afterwards. I plan to get complelty smashed, well i mean i think i have earned it! The only problem is most places in town will only let us in if we are in fancy dress, so im gonna have to go home and find my big multicolourd wig, wash and dry it before restyling it. I also need to find my Blue sparkly Jeggings, a nice top to go with them, and my white eyeliner. I hope that is somewhere in my bedroom. Its a really nice one, Diego Dalla Palma or something, and it cost me £14, so i have to find it. I want to know where my wig is, last time i wore it i ended up throwing it in the wardrobe so i hope its not horrendusly matted and mouldy. Otherwise we may then have a ...

Morning and a happy first of November to you all. I think i am still in a state of shock. Ive spent all night working the shoe department, although it feels more like it worked me! It was an utter mess, and the delivery we had just didnt fill it, there are gaps everywhere, and i have had to combine lines on the same drop just to make it look fuller. The worst part was that it involved a lot of crawling on the floor to reach the bottom shelves, and i am thoughroughly disgusting. The floor is a dust trap at the best of times and my nails look the worst. Well i say nails. I currently have one which is long enough to warrant the title of a nail. I am a horrendus nail biter, like i am constantly chewing on them, and i have no idea why. Its not like i am even anxious when i do it, becuase i chew them whatever emotion or mood i am feeling/in. Even when im happy i find myself gnawing away. Maybe its something psychological, or maybe it is just habit. Well whatever it is, i seem to be beati...

Poor Daruish. he started work at 12, and stayed to do an accessory move (basically to just shift the grid and the layout a little bit) and at midnight he left, only to find the car park was shut and locked and he couldn't go home, so he ended up asleep on a sofa in the managers area. i feel so sorry for him, hes a great bloke and he must have been shattered, not to mention uncomfortable on a tiny sofa. its one of those leather ones that literally swallow you up. not much to tell you today really, just that i brought some stuff on the way home, a new umbrella, a huge summer scarf thats blue for £3 and some cheap t shirts for my mum. i think i am starting to feel it now, but the good thing is im not in until 8 tonight, so i am gonna lounge around for a bit, then maybe get some zzz's i wonder who thought that three z's make it look like sleep. hmmm its a thought i think i shall ponder, while i fantasize about buying a new coat, one that flatters me and will match everythin...

Morning all, i am suffering from a serious craving of Cheetos, i had them in Spain, and they are seriously good, much better than Wotsits, and just genrally cooler, but ive never actually seen them here **sobs** Work was good, i cleared the stockroom of rails for hopefully the final time ever, and have now started on the pods. loads of accessories as usual. i quite like accessories, especially hanging out the scarves, which i find quite theraputic, if i ever get bored of Denim and Casual bottoms i might move to accessories. the only bit i dont like is the gloves, GAHH i have a hole pod of odd gloves, where do the other ones go? they are probably having a party under a counter as we speak. Richard my manager gave me a terminal log on, which sadly enough i was really excited about. its not managers authorization, which is the big one, but it means i can use the price lookup terminals which makes me queen bee :D they are so handy to use, especially when confronted with loads of sale...

Hi hi hi sorry this is a bit late, but one of the fir ops guys was sat on the sofa by the computer, and i felt it would be rude for me to go and leer at him while i type while he sleeps. i had a very productive night shift as it were, all of the rails have gone, and i started on the weird shelving hanging beam thing we call the bins. its full of really random stock, a bit of this, a few jumpers, some joggers, then a few blazers, it was very exciting. i was sat at the bus stop, and for some reason my mind is very overly active this morning. at the bus stop, most morning when i do night shifts, a lady sits nearby, she catches the same bus, the 6:25 number six, which stops in Woolston on route to Netley. She wears an Asda uniform, and usually has a few bags with her. i think she probably has kids, and she seems quite nice. sometimes she lets me get on the bus first, while other times she gets on first. i wonder if thats because of the way her shift went. if it went well then she is ...

Morning all. my house is currently shaking in, out, all about and even a tiny bit up. Southampton is having the worst storm for 25 years, massive winds, lashings of rain and just a tiny bit of seismic activity, or so it feels like. usually Southampton has fairly average rain, drizzle most of the time with a few calm and clear days, so its quite exciting to have something quite wild for a change. this must be similar to what its like when a hurricane visits, although i imagine its a bit more on the edge of your seat drama whereas now it just feels like a busy extension of the tube runs under my house. whilst i found the sound of roaring winds a little creepy to start off with, ive gotten used to it, and it actually sounds quite exciting now. the only thing is, while we are quite safe here, i mean the worst that could happen is our garden floods and a few (more) tiles come off, there might be people in quite considerable danger in more rural areas. i hope my Nans are alright. My mum...

hello all, hope you are well its my last night this week :( but im back in on monday which is good, and hopefully Richard will phone tonight and let me know what 9 im doing. ive just noticed someone in the shopping centre is paiting the windows, just to let you know.i think my mum would love a duster on a big long pole like they use so she can clean the ceiling. but i digress. i really wish they would let me do five nights a week. i will ask but i think i know the answer will be no. the extra money would be good, but its so fustrating leaving here at six knowing there will be 3 nights before im back, and ive made a lot of progress with the stockroom today, loads of rails ive cleared away and the ones ive gone through that are staying ive made sure a labelled properly so people know what to do with them. imagine how clear and organised it would be if i did an extra night! amd i very much doubt i could ever run out of things to do, the fitting room is always full of repro (thats cl...

Helloooooo As the title suggests night blogging is becoming very frequent in the past few days. im doing another night, this time to pip and sizetidy all of ladieswear for the famous Mr Rabbit. ive used a fake name so if i ever get discoverd then hopefully i wont get fired.ive nearly finished the third section, and i am losing the will to live, particulalry as every time i look up thinking i have made progress, i realize i am now where finished yet. i do want to get it all done, and am contemplating staying another hour to finish it, but i dont think i would get paid becuase i have gone over my quota of hours this week. that may sound scary, but in reality, 45 hours is not enough. i could do 5 night shifts, but i dont think i would be allowed to. most people think doing four is extreme and quite frankly mad. but i dont mind, this extra money will hopefully get me a car and a new place to live, although the two are very mixed together. if i move out now, i wont be able to afford the c...

Hello again, so much has happened in the past few days its crazy. our internet at home has stopped working, so im blogging on my break at work. Im back at work doing nights, and i am very very happy to be doing them again. i find them so peaceful, and usually i feel good because i manage to get a lot of stuff done, usually thing that you never get a chance to do in the day. tonight is cleaning, and while i hate cleaning at home and am very content to roll around in muck and my own filth (im joking) but i dont mind it at work. its very good for the arms, no bingo wings here! ive also managed to create a rough plan of what i want to achieve in 2014. some are big things, like getting a car and moving up where i work, wheras some are quite small, like to try to keep my bedroom tidy and getting my hair back into good condition,  to the slightly more odd ones, like too getting my first tattoo which will be a plain triangle, and to learning a new language, maybe Polish, or H...

Hello all, a am currently slumped at the computer in my workplaces cafeteria, full of dohnuts and feeling very over active. and by that i mean my brain is racing at a hundred and fourty miles and hour while my body moves at about ten (thats me being generous!) we are in the process of clearing the stock room, and its getting there. its just hard because its stock i dont deal with very often. i usually work on the casual bottoms and denim departments, so putting out tops, knitwear and coats is a bit harder for me. its made harder by the fact that a lot of paperwork has to be used to see if we can send the stock back to the warehouse  if we dont stock it any more. but none the less, i am sure you are crying with boredom as i type. im craving all sorts of food, and i desperatly want to go on tumblr for a bit, but i dont think its entirely appropriate to be looking at food porn, hot guy porn and porn porn while on my break. i also want to get back to writing a story i...

Im not sure if its me being a bit drunk, or if its becuase i just listened to Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Ray 40 times, but im in one of those moods where i think anything is possible. im not going to make you read between the lines, im going to come out and say it, yes, i do think about suicide, its the thought that if i did it, i wouldn't have to worry about anything ever again, i wouldn't have to worry about desperatly tidying denim flat pack at work anymore, i wouldn't have to feel so upset and annoyed when everyone tells me they love the new gay guy at work, becuase lets face it, i am gay, but i am not viewed as such, i am viewed as one of the girls, and i don't think people realize how much that hurts, becuase i know that probably i will never b one of the girls. i wouldn't ever have to worry about annoying my parents, or fretting because most of my friends are really thin and a nice height, wheras i am ridiculouly tall and have huge sticky out clown feet.i...

Hello all, A question that has been plaguing me recently is the feeling of lust, why do we lust? Theres no reason, other than something in our brain says i want it, and we act on that impulse in whatever way we can, whether it's buying that new top, or sucking in your stomach when a man walks past, or even as simple as a dirty thought. The thing that i have thought most about is how lust is not just unique to each person, but unique to each situation and accessory. let me explain my odd thought process. Scenario uno: (this happens to me a lot) So you are in a club, shaking your booty and having a good time. You catch a guy's eye (he's usually straight and dosn't realize i am a guy but thats another blog post) you go up to him, slut drop a few times, make out and thats it. the lust part is over, and you are left feeling either foolish, a bit of a whore or scared as his friends/ girlfriend come over to start a fight. Scenario dos: (this happens to me all the time!...

i have so much to say that it hurts, but i cant say it. theres nothing i can do, i have to just hold it all in. occasionally i have a blip, like on saturday night when i was drunk and i phoned my best friend and told her a little bit of it. but it didn't even scatch the iceberg. i want to say it, but i just cant, theres no words that can even come close

Well first of all, happy Valentines to everyone, and second of all, I GOT A DATE!!! **screams!** Admittedly it is with my dear friend Ramona, and i did have to twist her arm to get her to say yes, but on a technicality, it means i am not single for the first time in over 2 years! we are going out clubbing, and if last time was anything to go by, i should hook up with someone very easily. Apparently last time i snogged one guys face off, and then got on somebody else a bit later, i never knew i was such a catch? but i was so drunk i don't remember doing it, so that might be why it happened! i'm also hoping that i wont need the toilet, becuase after the abuse i got last time in the mens, i'd rather pee outside. I went in, and this guy was like "Are you a dude?" and i said yes, and he said well i'll have to watch you pee to make sure, and was just an enormous prat about it, and it left me feeling upset, so it killed the mood of the night a bit until i managed t...

Hello! Hola! Once again i find myself singing and dancing around the room to new songs i have just discovered. Marry Me by Krista, Summertime love by Sabrina Solnero and Gloria by Laura Branigan. My mum is somewhat surprised by the fact that i am entering a period where i like 80's music, which i have always tolerated, but i guess now i have lost all of my street cred i can say i like it :D Once again, i find myself going completely against the grain, and i seem to be the only one  ready meals with beef in them. To be honest, and to inject some sense into this manic panic the united kingdom has once again gotten itself into, people have eaten that horse meat for possibly over a year! another couple of portions really isn't going to make much difference. I think people are making a fuss because the horse meat was put in the sneakily. I understand that this has caused problems for those who don't eat certain meats, like our Muslim and ...

Well hello, i'm back again! i'm making a conscious effort to try to keep up with all my obligations this year, and in case you are wondering, i'm listening to hot stuff by Donna Summer, which gave me the inspiration to write this blog post. I know i bang on a lot about searching for a man and love, but i think i had a bit of an epiphany while i was at  a friends birthday do a couple of days ago. You see, ive spent so much time and effort searching for a man, when in all fairness, i don't actually need one. Ive always thought that i do need someone to look after me, particularly when i have those moments of depression and madness. But i don't. I think that i spent so much time searching for him, that i have lost track of myself. Dont get me wrong, if he found me then i would go out, but i'm not actively looking for the time being (although i do find myself checking my dating profiles fairly frequently) i want to spend this time to carve out my future ...

Well hello, and to start off with i must apologize for the lack of recent activity. You see after christmas, all of the extra hours stopped, although i was given more for my basic, it does mean i have three days off (as well as 2 half days) so i;m not quite sure what to do with myself. so to be honest, i've just spent the time in bed, dozing and watching porn. I am a little annoyed with myself, there is so much i could have done, but havn't. i still have a  christmas video to upload to youtube, i have not done a dosed daily video for at least five weeks, all becuase ive felt depressed and spent time asleep. i feel better now, and am trying to focus my energies more on achiving things. my writing has taken a step back and to make matters worse, my extreme shopping has caused my bedroom to drown in clothes and bags. thats my first step for today. ive already done all my ironing, and now im going to takle my bedroom, for it is going to become my budwior! i have no idea how to ...

So the parcel came in the end, at about 2 in the afternoon, i trialed it out, it was perfect, then i realized i had to be at work for 4 and it was just gone 3, so i cleaned myself up, ate some cous cous and went to work, and becuase i was in such a good mood, i stayed an extra hour to help out becuase they were moving everything around, my jeggings are now spread over two tables and there are loads of new colours, happy me!! :D xoxo

i'm currently say in our front room (everyone else calls it the living room, but since we have two because i am a queen i call this the front room) with my laptop, because i ordered some, personal items lets say, from ebay, and because i couldn't afford nominated day postage which was £3 more, which dosn't sound like a blot, but overall the stuff i'm buying cost exactly £50, and i only had 6 in the bank account, so i had to borrow some money off my parents. they were not pleased. but anyway so with standard delivery i was told it would be here either monday or tuesday, so i'm sat by the door so as soon as it comes and can grab it and whisk it away upstairs before anyone cans see it and ask about it. But, my dad, the worlds most amazing person (that was sarcastic if you didn't guess or know him) has just this morning decided he wants to complelty renovate the front garden -_- so he's going to be the one to see the package and will ask me about it,...