Junior Eurovision Song Contest 2022 Part One - The Songs

 Barev! Greetings from Armenia, this years host of the Junior Eurovision Song Contest! Coming to you live from Yerevan, we are going to see sixteen countries take part this year. My home country the UK is returning this year, while Azerbaijan (unsurprisingly, considerdering Armenia is hosting) Bulgaria, Germany and Russia (again, unsurprisingly due to their invasion of Ukraine) will not be taking part this year. Of course, we are in Armenia thanks to Malena's win last year with her song "Qami Qami". I will be reviewing the contest in two parts, the first will be my reaction to all the songs, while the second part will be about the results, as well as giving out my own scores. Will my points change the leaderboard? We shall have to wait and see! And without further ado, let's start the show!

This years art design is so so good, featuring the Armenian colours and a traditional spinning top. And this continues with our opening video, explaining how the world rotates and spins, just like magic. It's quite a deep meaning video, beautifully presented and made, working for both a child & adult audience alike. 

Malena opens the show, except she just introduces the contest, and then we actually begin with a funk inspired number performed by this years contestants. It's actually quite catchy, and one that might be listened too even after the contest. the concept of the silver glad, green drum players hanging from the ceiling is a random but fun touch. Could we hire them for birthday parties?

Our flag parade comes, this time with entrants in alphabetical order, and then the second half of the contestants join in the group number. Wow the kid with long hair in black and white strips has a distinctive voice. We all come together for the final part of the song, and I am really liking the stage. It's round, with matching lines coming out across the ceiling and floor, and with two side walkways that link together in the middle of the arena for the green room. It feels nice and open, and hopefully very versatile too. 

And now, we get to meet our hosts! We have Iveta Mukuchyan, who came seventh in ESC 2016 with the song "Lovewave" a song that still I listen to regularly, it gives me chills each time. We also have Garik Papoyan, an Armenian songwriter, television host & comedian, who co-incidentally wrote Armenia's 2014 ESC entry "Not alone" performed by Aram MP3 who came fourth. And finally, we have Karina Ignatyan, Armenia's representative in JESC 2019 with the song "Colours of your dream" coming in 9th. Is this the first time all of our hosts for a contest have given top ten results for their country? At least they know how to perform, but whoever dressed them, gosh this is a mess. Iveta is overwhelmed by a horrendously coloured patterned dress, but with nothing going on her legs or feet. Karina is in a pretty pink gown which matches in colour to Iveta, but the shape and ruffles is all wrong, and makes her look shorter than I think she is. It's actually Garik, in his navy casual suit with pink stripes that is the best dressed. I can slightly forgive Iveta's stylist, for the incredible long ponytail and matching eye shadow.

First annoyance, why have they got handheld mics? I feel like half their faces are covered by them. Iveta's already got an ear piece removed, are we having a some technical troubles already? Garik explains the voting procedure, 50% of votes come from the juries, while the other 50% comes from the televoting. In a slight difference to the main contest, all the televotes are added together, and if you receive 10% of the votes, you get 10% of the scores. And you can vote for you own country. (Except this is several years ago, so don't try!)

Iveta and Garik are bickering, I think it is supposed to be funny, but it's not landing very well, when we are interrupted by a robot, whose name is Robin, and will be a co-host in the green room along with Karina. Robin tells us magic is real, and I'm not holding out much hope for the robot working the whole way through. Whose idea was that? There's another play of "Spin the magic" accompanied by some shots of the audience, while we wait for the first postcard of the evening to begin for the Netherlands.

We begin, and I can't stop myself from laughing. We have a shot of the Dutch entrants, badly green screened on top of a backdrop of what looks like a beautiful ruined temple complex. She throws the spinning top, and it smacks into one of the columns. If that had been in real life, she would have been pepper sprayed by security! But the ruins of Zvarnots Cathedral look beautiful. Karina joins us back in the green room, while we wait for the stage to be set up for the performance.  Anyway, we have Luna and she is performing "La festa". She declares "tonight will be bellissimo". It's one of those songs that doesn't quite know what it's trying to do. It's got a fun and energetic backing track at times, but other times it feels laboured. She performs it well, but its not working for me. It's like they are trying to create a Spanish bop, but it's lacking a Spanish flavour, aside from saying La Festa throughout. She's also in hot pink, and the backing dancers is a multitude of different shades of green. It feels like it's not been thought out fully. A missed opportunity is my opinion.

JESC heavyweights Poland are next, and this is Laura with "To the moon". This is a bit different to normal, with a darker, more electronic vibe to it, similar to "Qami Qami" last year. However, before the song has really got going, the stage is so covered in smoke you can't see anyone. Is she still there? Otherise, I'm quite enjoying this entry, the graphics work well with the stars and planets moving about. Laura and her dancers are all in silver and with a well choreographed dance routine. All in all, this is good. 

Fellow JESC success story Kazakhstan is up next, with the song "Jer-ana (Mother Earth), performed by David Charlin. It starts with a fantastic city skyline behind him, the song is a slow starter with an ethnic element running through it. But diction wise, we have a problem. I can make out some of the English words, but not all of them, and vocally, it's not great. I think I winced at that first big note.  I don't know if it's a stylistic choice, but the vocals are grating on me a little bit now. Could this be the first time we don't see Kazakhstan in the top 10? I think so. 

Next up is Malta. The postcard was filmed outside Republic Square Metro Station. I remember it well when I visited! I used it several times when coming to Republic Square to see the singing & dancing fountains there. I found the Yerevan Metro fascinating, plastic tokens instead of tickets, two carriage trains, never having to stand it was so quiet, and perhaps my favourite feature, the timer resetting to zero and counting up each time the train leaves. It was perhaps the rockiest metro I have ever ridden on also. Anyway, this year Malta is represented by Gaia Gambuzza, who is performing "Diamonds in the skies".  Again, there is a similar vibe to both "Qami Qami" and the Polish entry, although this entry is a bit more punchy and with a heavier beat. There's an ok dance break, although there feels like a lack of energy for such a song. Also I'm hearing it more as diamonds in disguise, but maybe that's just my bad hearing. What I will say, is it's very simple and repetitive, to the point that I'm getting a little bit bored by the end of it. Mixed feelings about this one.

Anyone else getting bored of the postcards now? I feel like we keep seeing the same sequence of the cogs of whatever historical structure the child has thrown a spinning top at, and we aren't getting to see much of the beautiful sites of Armenia. Or is it just me?

Anyway, this is Chanel Dilecta, and she is performing "Bla bla bla" for Italy. It's upbeat, and giving me a flashback to Carla's "Bim Bam toi" from France in JESC 2019. It's good fun though, with bright graphics that work with the song. I feel like there was a missed note or lyric in the middle there, Chanel seemed to freeze for a moment. Otherwise, it is a nice song, and performed well. 

We are back with Karina in the green room, chatting to Luna from Poland. Karina hands out spinning tops to the Polish delegation, like she's Oprah, but less exciting. She announces France is up next. I would say based on recent results, France is top dog. They won in 2020, and have never placed lower than 6th. That is impressive. Hoping to continue that streak is Lissandro, performing "Oh Maman!". France has even got an Eurovision expert onboard, with Barbara Pravi writing the song. Barbara wrote the 2019 JESC entry which came in 6th, and the winning entry a year later in 2020. She also came second in the main contest in 2021, with the song "Voila". Should we just crown them now? Anyway "Oh Maman!" is a so so punchy and catchy, with a retro vibe feel to it. Lissandro gives the song so much energy and performance, to the point where at times he seems a little out of breath. This kid is going to be huge as he gets older, there's a real star quality to him. The staging is brilliant, his name in gold letters, frenetic backing dancers, and he finishes with a brilliant long note. It seems France is really taking JESC seriously, and this will continue their run of splendid vibes.

Albania is next, and we have Kejtlin Gjata with the song "Pakëz diell". From my broken Albanian, I think this is about the sun? I remember another entry from them called diell. Or was that in the pre selection? Bear with me, it will come to me at some point. First of all, horrid dress. The colour is washed out, and the shape is weird, with the lines of scrunched material and shoulder flaps just look unbalanced. That aside Kejtlin has a phenomenal voice. It is divine. She soars through the notes, and has this beautiful warmth to her voice. The song is a little on the dreary side, the key change not massively changing the course of the song, but I've got to say, she has the best voice of any entrant so far this year.

My favourites last year were Georgia, who I gave my twelve points to. This year they are represented by Mariam Bigvava, who is performing "I believe". It's got a real dark edge to it, with white, red and black colours filling the stage. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. I appreciate the fact it is very conceptual and with a lot of attention to detail with how it's put together. But the song itself? I'm not completely drawn in by it. Which is weird, because this is something I feel like I should like? Somethings missing from it. I can't quite say what it is, but it needs a little something. Props to Mariam, she is a great performer and with a lovely agile voice.

"Solas" is the Irish entry this year from Sophie Lennon. This has a rather traditional feel to it, more than what recent Irish entries have contained. The song starts off slow, and it's starting to loose me, but suddenly changes, giving a heavier middle section which makes me sit up and take notice, before dropping out to an almost acoustic section, which really brings me in. However, during the long note, it sounds like she missed the final part of the note? I've rewatched it twice, and I think thats what happened. Correct me if I am wrong. The song picks back up, and now I'm really enjoying it. The beautiful background with the lighthouse moving behind her, through the night and seeing the sun rise again. Really nice touch. I wish the first part of the song was a bit shorter, it could have got going a little bit quicker, but otherwise, I quite like this one.

Macedonia is up next, and we have Lara feat Jovan & Irina, who are performing the song "Životot e pred mene". This is another fun song, with a sort of retro vibe to it and initially is promising, however, we sort of head into a childish sounding entry, which feels too childish, even for Junior Eurovision? Does that make sense? We then get a rap section, with a chap wearing a cross between tails and a leather jacket. Yeah, this...this is not good. I'm not enjoying this, and it's stuck in my head, but not for the right reasons. I think we may have found our last place song.

The Spanish postcard features the front of the Cafesjian Museum of Art building. The building is both bizarre and fantastic, it is full of many different levels connected by a multitude of various escalators and lifts, and is full of curious & interesting pieces of art, with these fantastic vertical water features on the building. If you're in Yerevan, it's well worth visiting.

The Spanish entry is performed by Carlos Higes, and is called "Señorita". You would never need to be told it was from Spain, everything about it just screams Spain. It's fun, neon colours awash the stage, Carlos and the backing dancers are in white, making them stand out amongst the colour. The song is catchy and with a brilliantly cheesy lyric of "from Valencia to Ibiza". It's so so good, and I think I will be adding this to my spotify playlist of JESC favourites. It gets one of the biggest applause from the arena so far as well. 

Back to Karina in the green room with Mariam from Georgia and Sophie from Ireland. Both explain about their songs, and we learn Sophie's favourite part has been the opening party in Republic Square. We now head to Iveta, who tells us to use the #JESC2022 & #spinthemagic hashtags to share what we are posting. Well, there you go Iveta, I've done it for you! 

I'm super excited that the UK has returned to JESC. We were one of the original countries to take part, but after three years, ITV withdrew, and the show wasn't broadcast here again.  Now we are back with the BBC, who have arranged this entry. I'm assuming this must be because Wales hasn't returned. They withdrew due to covid and haven't returned, and the BBC has stepped in to represent the UK as a whole. So I'm very happy to say, that for the first time in sixteen years, this is the United Kingdom, our song is "Lose my head" and it is performed by Freya Skye. It's a really modern feeling entry with some electronic sounds throughout, starting with Freya on a golden throne, with both her and the dancers in red. It's a really good entry, with a fun but dramatic feel to it. This is the first time in a long time for any contest that we've sent a credible entry. Fingers crossed for a good result!

Portugal is up next, and it's Nicolas Alves with the song "Anos 70". The song feels alternative, with a rockier sound as it builds. His voice is so distinctive, with a really gravelly rasp, that he switches with a more standard voice throughout the song. It's not a bad song, but it's not really my cup of tea, but he does give us a fun little guitar solo in the middle. I think it's a bit too alternative to do well, and I think it will be in a similar position to Ireland last year on the leaderboard, somewhere near the bottom.

"Svet bez granica" is the Serbian entry, performed by Katarina Savić. It's interesting, it begins with her styled as dancing ballerina in a toy box, with bands of light surrounding her. It's got a lovely Balkan sound to it, with a fairytale sort of vibe. She quickly changes while a dancer takes our attention, before being handed a trombone to give us a solo on. I'm really enthralled by this, it's a beautiful sound, and while she seems a little nervous, she performs it well. This is going to get a good result for Serbia. 

Our hosts Armenia are the penultimate entry tonight, and their hopes of recreating Poland's win on home turf is resting on the shoulders of Nare, who is performing "Dance!". Within seconds, this is an absolute bop. It funky, it's electronic, its energetic, with a super catchy ooh ooh ooh section. We get a banging dance break as the beat builds back up, and it's just sublime. Such a good entry, and the arena love it. And not just because it's filled with Armenians!

Ukraine is the last entry tonight, with Zlata Dziunka performing "Nezlamna (unbreakable)". It really reminds me of another song, but I can't think which one. Something recognisable in the melody. She performs it well, giving a passionate performance moving around the stage, her white outfit working beautifully with the soft yellows and golds of the stage lighting. The backing vocals really work well to support her, and overall, this is good. Another contender for the win perhaps?

And so there we have it! All sixteen songs have now been performed! Comment below who was your favourite, and who you think will take the trophy! 

Join me in part two, where I will review the rest of the show, the interval acts, the voting, and of course to give my reaction to the winner. And most importantly, I will reveal my results. Will it change the leaderboard? You'll have to wait and see!