Eurovision Song Contest 2023 - Semi Final Two

 Hello and welcome back! We are continuing our rewatch of ESC 2023, and now it's time for the second semi final. I will of course be reviewing all of the songs, and at the end, I'll be sharing my votes. Will any of the qualifiers change? You'll have to read on and find out! 

The standard of the show & production in the first semi final was very good, so I'm excited to see the rest.  We start with a recap of the first semi final, of who made it and who didn't (as we had forgotten already!)

We welcome back our hosts Alesha Dixon, Julia Sanina and Hannah Waddingham. All look incredible, but it's Alesha's statement cut out & asymmetrical black dress that is the best for me. We have sixteen countries battling it out for the 10 remaining positions in the grand final. Who will make it through? We choose! Well, at least we did at the time. This is the first year where only the televotes decide the qualifiers (unless youre San Marino). Plus, the rest of the world gets a say this year, so it will be interesting to see who gets the twelve points from the world. Hannah impresses us with her French skills again.

Denmark's postcard features the Lviv opera & ballet house, and despite the drizzle still managed to impress!

Denmark is giving is our first song this semi final, and it's performed by Reiley. It's called "Breaking my heart" and it's a song I would expect to see this in the Junior contest. I can't believe I'm seeing a twelve year old singing about a broken heart. Vocally, it's not pleasant, and it's an awful song. I think the less we say about this the better. Denmark could have saved themselves some money and just not bothered this year. 

The aptly named Brunette is Armenia's entrant this year, and the song is "Future Lover". She's wearing one of those outfits that looks like it's made of human skin stitched together, almost like she's just survived some sort of apocalyptic event. The song starts slow, before picking up some clout with a spoken rap section, before moving into a jarring dance break followed by a rather upbeat soulful chorus. Staging wise, it's a mixed bag, when you're up close it works well with her on the tilted ramp, but for the wide shots, it looks rather a bit bare. Overall, it's okay, but not my favourite. 

"D.G.T. (off and on)" is the Romanian entry, and if you thought the title made no sense, then wait for the performance to begin. It's performed by Theodor Andrei, who appears to have only gotten half dressed, in a pink suit that is missing both a top and the legs. Was it discounted due to the lack of fabric? I guess we will never know. It's all very well being sat on a stool by yourself playing guitar, but you've got to have star quality to make everyone keep their focus on you. And it's not happened. He has a nice voice, with a distinctive sort of rasp to it, but the song is just underwhelming. It feels very much like a sixteen year old attempting a music GCSE. Suddenly a woman with oil on her hands in a sparkly bodysuit runs on, and we never find out what for or why. 

The Estonian postcards shows off Blackpool Tower, with it's world renowned ballroom underneath

After a run of underwhelming entries, we now have Estonia, who give us our first contender of the show. It's Alika, who is performing "Bridges". And when I say performing, I really mean it, I remember the first time I saw this it made my skin tingle, it's that good! We start with a piano playing itself, with Alika's haunting vocals layered over it. The backing vocals are perfect, adding another layer of luxurious musicality to the song, really highlighting Alika's vocals. She's a vision in blue, which contrasts beautifully with the warm light from the piano. And when she starts really belting, it's joyful to hear! This is a brilliantly curated & crafted song, performance and staging. Hats off to the team for creating such a piece of art.

Belgium is up next, and we have Gustaph and the song "Because of you". Ok, so this is not a new concept, and it's been done many times before. However, it is a fun song, with some nice vocals, and with a real party feel to it, and the fact he is friends with the backing vocals adds to the chemistry. Two notes, first one being the stairs needed to be wheeled off, if you're no longer using the prop, get rid of it. Secondly, could he have no worn something a bit nicer? Quite what the costume designer had in mind is anyone's guess. But like I say, it's fun and with a nice message, even if it is a little dated in concept. But should make to the final easily.

Hannah is now chatting with two Eurovision legends, Graham Norton and Ukraine commentator Timor Miroshnychenko. Between them there is 30 years of commentator experience. That's quite the Eurovision fact! Timor's favourite act is Verka Serduchka, which is hardly surprising considering the fan base. Graham advises us to remain sober during the contest, for some that's certainly easier said than done!

Alesha is joined in the green room by the now infamous entrants Scooch, who I think we have all tried to forget over the years. Some of them look well sixteen years after taking part, others seem to have a little surgical helping hand with their looks. Touched by an angel I think the term is. 

Cyprus is next, and we have Andrew Lambrou with the song "Break a broken heart" Interestingly he is actually an Aussie, so if Australia doesn't qualify later on, no doubt they will be supporting Cyprus! He is performing barefoot, which in Eurovision history means you'll either win or come last. He's cute, and has a nice voice, but the song doesn't do anything for me, it's a bit too waily at times. And the falsetto at times sounds a bit on the weak side. I'm on the fence about if this will qualify or not. 

Diljá is representing Iceland with "Power" and this is what you call a power song. So powerful, at times it seems to loose control a bit and becomes a tad messy. But Diljá has got an incredible voice, moving up down registers and blasting vocally into space, all while running & jumping around the place. But give Diljá her due, there's not a single moment where she's not doing something. Should get Iceland easily into the final.

Greece is up next, and similarly to Romania, seem to have been on a downward trend in recent years, hoping to change that will be Victor Vernicos, who is singing "What they say". For about the second time tonight, we have a suit missing pieces combined with boots, is this a trend I am missing out on? Anyway, it's again another song that wouldn't be out of place in the Junior contest. He's got a similar level of energy to Diljá, except his is misplaced, he seems to spend more time jumping up on down on the spot, making it hard to make a connection with him. Vocally, it's very quiet and wobbly at times, and the song is just not memorable. Sorry to say it, but this will be another final Greece fails to make.

Blanka is performing "Solo" for Poland this year, and I would just like to say, if you thought you were going to get something meaningful and deep like last year's "River" you will be sorely disappointed. The deepest this performance gets is the word "baybeh" to start us off.  This song just feels cheap & uninspired. It's catchy, but not in a good way, and I'm am left feeling disappointed. Not even some fireworks, terrible graphics and a disjointed dance break can make this better. Our final chorus cheats us out of anything new and different, no key change, no long notes, nothing. Very disappointing.

Next up is Slovenia, with Joker Out performing "Carpe Diem". This is one of those Eurovision entries that has a real radio friendly quality to it, feeling both modern and retro at the same time. Coupled with beautiful Bojan's vocals, a great performance and a really fun vibe from the group, this is possibly the strongest Slovenian entry we've seen in a few years that is guaranteed some success. I think Slovenia is a country that is often overlooked in Eurovision and deserves a higher level of success. The group do a great job of getting the energy going in the arena, and in a moment of inspiration, all five come together for a bow at the end, almost like we've been at their concert. It's a great vibe, and this will do very well. 

The colourful old town of Lviv, with it's buildings in many different colours, features in the Georgian postcard.

A former JESC winner joins us here from Georgia. This is Iru, who is performing the song "Echo". She of course won the 2008 JESC contest with the song "candy music". It's not the greatest of winners, but it won none the less. "Echo" is a song where you don't quite know what's going on. It's very over produced, and that combined with the lack of diction, means I have no idea what on earth is going on. Every chorus seems to have different words, although I suspect they don't, and the odd little bit in the middle just threw me off even more. I feel like this was a very misguided entry, and I doubt it will score many points because of it.

Someone called Luke Evans is giving us a video about the history of the contest. I've no clue who he is. It's a bit of a vanilla video, there's nothing we didn't already know, and it certainly wasn't a video that was particularly interesting. Perhaps watching the adverts would have been better. 

One of the famous towers of San Marino, the Guaita gives great views across the country, and into Italy!

This years smallest country taking part is San Marino, they are represented by Piqued Jacks, and are performing "Like an Animal". We have yet another artist not wearing a shirt with their suit, instead wearing a pearl necklace which makes them look even more like a vampire. The song is just very generic and something that's been heard many, many times. Vocally, it's bad, those long notes were awful. And that's coming from me, who cannot sing a note. It's rather disappointing, especially when you think some of the previous bangers that San Marino has sent. Maybe next year eh?

Austria is next, and we have Teya & Selena performing "Who the hell is Edgar". If you ever thought Edgar Allen Poe would be referenced on the Eurovision stage, then you must have a crystal ball. I didn't expect it, but do you know what, this is banger. A song about being possessed by the spirit of Edgar Allen Poe while protesting about how little artist get paid by music streaming platforms is a concept I couldn't have even dreamed up. The song is fun, catchy and with a great little dance to practice, vocally, there's a little patch in the middle where they don't quite harmonise fully, but they recover well and give us a final punchy chorus. This is going to do so well! 

Albina and Familja Kelmendi are representing Albania with the song "Duje". I can't remember the last time we have a whole family onstage together like this before. In typical Albanian staging, everything is red and black, but you didn't need me to tell you that, did you? I actually really like this. It's got this beautiful ethnic Albanian sound, with a modern twist to Albina gives us some great vocals, and the family perform well together, even the brother who clearly doesn't want to be there and has been dragged along so he isn't left out. We get a fun little dance break in the middle, and overall, I'm really enjoying it. Not sure if it's strong enough to qualify, but I can live in hope.

Lithuania is next, and we have another returning artist Monika Linkyte, who you'll remember from the 2015 contest. Unfortunately, she hasn't brought Vaidas Baumila, who is possibly one of the hottest men ever to appear at the contest, and has continued to grow more beautiful each times he pops up on facebook. Anyway, enough about him and my unrequited love. Monika is performing "Stay", and it's quite a nice little ballad, although it does feel overly repetitive at times. But it should be good enough to get them to the final.

Our final entry is from Australia, and I "Promise" it is the last one tonight. It's performed by Voyager, and it feels very retro, and perhaps another first tonight, he is performing in a car. Not bad. The song has a sort of retro anthem vibe to it, and it seems to be lapped up by the arena. The song gets gradually more rockier as we listen, and it's not bad. I find my toe tapping along to it. 

Our hosts are back on stage, and its almost time to open the lines. Our hosts praise the the competing songs & songwriters, some of whom do not deserve it. Of course, this is three years ago, please don't try and vote (unless of course Eurovision is back on, but double check the numbers, you might not vote for your favourites). Who was your favourites, and who do you think should qualify? Let me know in the comments! 

But our hosts have opened the lines, and before the first recap, we see Peppa pig leading the conga through the greenroom, and Julia looks bewildered by it. I didn't realise Peppa pig was quite such an icon. We've already had Dustin the Turkey on the Eurovision (semi final) stage, so why not Peppa? Can she rap? Can she dance? I mean she can't be any worse than some of the other tripe we have sent over the years!

Our next performance is a beautiful one, featuring two familiar faces Mariya Yaremchuk (Ukraine 2014) Zlata Dzinuka (Ukraine JESC 2022) and Otoy, who I'm sure will one day take part with a medley of well known Ukrainian music. It's crafted beautifully, and most viewers will recognise the final song, one which I did not realise was originally Ukrainian. Julia then gives Hannah a masterclass in Ukrainian. I think Hannah is very gifted with languages, apparently she can speak Italian too. Anyway, here's another recap! 

Back on the main stage, it's time to close the voting lines, and after a quick countdown, that's it, there is nothing else anyone can do! We now get a rather fun interval act, where our hosts are turned into drag queens. This is a high energy, and colourful performance showing something Britain does very well, Drag! It's a fun celebration of everything camp, and you can't help but enjoy it. It's one anthem after another, and then we get "We got love" from Australia in 2018. It's an interesting song to end the performance on, considering there are many more iconic ones, but there we go. But it gets a rapturous applause from the arena.

We then get the second part of Filomena vs Mans, guessing which song qualified and didn't. We end up in a tie, but I think Filomena should win. I'd love to see her appear more often instead of Mans. Anyway, back the stage, Julia & Hannah announce a fab four exploring backstage. Hilariously, one of the kids have such a thick scouser accent even I have a job to understand them, so god help the rest of Europe. But it's a fun little video, and nice to see it from a kids point of view. Seeing them in the far too large jackets strutting about was so heartwarming. Alesha interviews them in the green room, and I'm playing a fun game of matching up who's mum is whose!

Now it's time to meet our automatic qualifiers, Ukraine, Spain and United Kingdom. I will of course review the performances in the final. Tvorchi hilariously says he loves drinking water. We then meet them in the green room. Blanca wants to fly together with her fans. Of course. We then chat to Tvorchi, before moving on to the UK's Mae Miller, who gives up the most pageant and diplomatic response, it's almost boring.

But now, is the most important part of the show, where Julia & Hannah are going to announce the qualifiers. We get the good to go from Executive Supervisor Mr Martin Österdahl, and now, we can announce that the first qualifier is...Albania! We then get Cyprus, Estonia & Belgium! Our  fifth & sixth qualifiers are Austria & Lithuania respectively. Now there's only four places left. We then get Poland, Australia & Armenia! With just one place left, it's between Slovenia and Iceland. And Hannah confirms it is...Slovenia! 

And there we have it, our grand final is complete! We now know which twenty six countries will be taking part on the grand final. But, we have to say goodbye to Denmark, Georgia, Greece, Iceland, Romania & San Marino. I was surprised not to see Iceland make it, but obviously for some reason it just didn't seem to appeal to the televoters. 

I'm sure you are all wondering who got my votes, and I'm pleased to announce them!

1 Point is for Poland

2 Points are for Cyprus

3 Points are for Iceland

4 Points are for Lithuania

5 Points are for Australia

6 Points are for Belgium

7 points are for Albania

8 Points are for Austria

10 Points for Estonia

and finally, my twelve points go to Slovenia!

How does that affect our qualifiers I hear you ask? Well, with thanks to Google Docx, I can show you!

As you can see here, no changes to qualifiers, and there's not as much movement as with the first semi final with the rankings, with only a couple of small changes. I thought Iceland might have made it, but for some reason the song obviously didn't resonate with voters. But there we have it, our grand final line up is now complete! Thankyou for reading, and join me with James in the Grand Final, as we both review the entrants, and we will see if our scores change the winner! One day it may just happen!