May 2023 - A coronation, cocktails and a big life change

 I suppose I should begin the post about May by mentioning the coronation. If you ask me of my humble opinion, it's that the monarchy is not needed. The monarchy in the UK has no real power, and therefore, no real use. We are seeing an increase in countries becoming republics and removing the historical ties with the monarchy, and I for one think that is a good thing. We are in the modern age, and wasting money & resources on a family that do not represent the views or the people of Britain is frivolous. There is no difference between the royal family and normal people like myself. They are only there because of their bloodline. And I think it's time we got rid of them. For once, let's take inspiration from the French and execute them all, at least it would give us all something different to talk about aside from the weather! 

All joking aside, we are country that cannot seem to move forward and get our priorities straight. So let's begin by getting rid of things we don't need and give us no benefit. And for all of you that are going to say "but people come to the UK to visit the queen/king" I tell you this. They do not. The late queen did not stand outside Buckingham palace selling signed autographs and touristic tat. People come to this country to see our history, our culture, our cuisine - ok, so no one comes here for bangers and mash. But look at the other nations of Europe that are republics, look at Germany, France & Italy. Countries that all get many tourists, long after ridding themselves of their monarchy! I think something else that should be noted, the treasury announced that approximately £162 million was spent on the Queens funeral and associated events. Let that sink in for a moment. £162 million. We could have given every child in the country school breakfasts & lunches for years with that money. Makes you wander, what's more important doesn't it?

But anyway, that's enough from me about that, I could rant and rave about it til the cows come home. Or the frogs even, as this new piece of art appeared one day next to the bus stop. Psychedelic, but fun!

We also returned to Whitchurch to spend some time with our feathered friends there. They were happy to see us, and even happier to see we have brought a bag full of a birdseed. No time was wasted, and James had ducks eating out of his hands left right and centre! It's funny, we feed them on the watercourse by the Whitchurch Silk Mill. We've been dozens of times, and several times been in the cafe there, but have yet to visit the silk mill! We keep saying we will, but we always seem to run out of time! I promise, we will visit one day and I will tell you all about it! 

Things had returned back to normal at the local theatre, after nervous cancellations & date changes due to the effects of covid. We went to the Mayflower Theatre to see Saturday Night Fever. Here's the mandatory pre-show drink (fruit cider!) The music side of the show was really good, but the acting and story-telling left a little bit to be desired. But, there is nothing like seeing a live stage show or music, whether it is good or bad. I get caught up in the adrenaline more than once!

And in May, me and Mel went somewhere so incredible, I can't help but fantasize about going back! Mel booked a table for us both at Incognito in Winchester. A bar that was so amazing, so interesting and so creative, that I almost had a funny minute with excitement. And that was before I'd even had any alcohol!

Each of the cocktails has a story behind it's design, and through the menu you can follow the travels of a cat named Chadwick Smithfield. He has had quite the exciting life! At the top you can see The Escargot, with vodka & cranberry juice, and this one was the Hibachi, which even came with a burning pot to roast your smores on! 

And this one, was perhaps the most delicious of them all. "An old fashioned type of Babe" was its name, and as you can see, it was a feast for the senses. A bourbon and butterscotch cocktail with a bacon flavoured fog, it can only be described as heavenly. There was such a sense of play and drama with each of the cocktails, and we had the most fantastic time, putting the world to rights as we enjoyed each of this beautiful drinks! Pre-booking a table is essential, and you can find their full menu on their website incognitobars.co.uk/winchester

I also discovered a new show, The Good Place. Which started just like this! It was wickedly funny and created some real thinking points about life, death and the ethics of both. Well worth a watch if you're looking for a new series to try.

I feel like that was the mantra I needed in my life at that point. Mentally I was not in a good place, with this crippling self doubt and a piling work load that I could no longer seemed to be able control. Rather than asking for help, I started to spiral downwards until an incident occurred at home where I came home one night distraught from work, and self harmed.

It shocked me. I've always had periods in my life where mentally I've not been in a good place, and that would usually end up with me turning to food to try and comfort myself. But the fact I'd gotten to the point where I had tried to harm myself in order to alleviate the pressure I was under, showed that things were at a breaking point.

My manager was semi understanding, she tried to provide some support she could, but at the same time, kept adding to my work load. She also seemed to be frustrated with me constantly, and the workload was causing me to burn out. So a few days after the incident in the kitchen, once I'd hidden the knives away in a drawer so I couldn't see them, I typed up my resignation letter. Originally I was going to ask to step down a level or two, but in the end, I thought I needed to go and take some time out. So with a heavy heart and a few tears, I handed in my resignation. Twelve years, three promotions, three different stores and countless different uniforms. All over when I handed over the letter. 

I didn't really have a plan, but what I did know was I needed to hide away from the world for a while and spend some time alone while doing something, and try to get myself on an even keel. Quite what that was going to be just yet, I couldn't tell you.

The night after I handed in my resignation, I think I nearly had a breakdown. Had I made the right decision? Would I ever work again? What would my parents say? So many thoughts flooded through my mind. It was overwhelming. But as James said, here and now is what's most important, and everything else will follow in it's own time.

I spent that night hugging Husky and his new toy I had brought him, wondering how much my life was about to change. As terrifying as it was, I knew I couldn't go on in the same way.