thinking aloud.
Well good evening, after some thoughts i realized that i have neglected this blog for far too long, for those of you (if there are any) the final part of gregs story will be coming soon. after dinner and a bitch fest chat with my mum i thought i would do a little blog after spraying rose water on my curtains so they smell nice.
i think i need to be honest here, and say that i have a fear of life at the moment. dont get me wrong, i enjoy life, there are many things i love doing (no pun intended) that are incredibly blissful for me, these include, hanging out with my friends, working, writing, reading, eating, snoozing in bed, pulling my hair grips out after a long day of my hair looking perfect (i joke i joke!), but ive come to the realization that i will never be able to own my own home. i can do it if i was married, or with a partner or is i had a flatemate/lodger. but i dont want it that way, i want to have it as my own. i am normally in a shared space, either at home or at work, so the idea of having a flat as my own blank canvass is a thrilling, yet at the same time daunting idea.
no i move on to Dan. he's this guy i met on Omegle of all places. hes not normally what i would go for, i usually go for the uber macho and muscly type, but he has an awesome personality, and is really charming while he makes me laugh. i kid you not, i was giggling the whole way through our second conversation like a love struck female japanese teen. yet i feel slightly wary, first of all he is a stranger, a man of the internet, he could be a psycho, (he might think that of me, and if he does, then he is correct) but then again, he could be the greatest man on earth. but the point that really scares me is the fact that this is the first time a man has shown proper interest in me. lets ignore my first ever boyfriend, we just used to tie each other up and play with each other. but that was two years ago. i chatted to an old college friend Emma friday night, and she commented on how ,much i had changed, in the space of nine months since i had last spoken to her properly. we shall also ignore Matthew, purely for the fact that it was just me being a delusional little slut. it really makes me wonder what i will become in another two years.
ive worked really hard recently. i work mid range retailer which tries to pretend and delude its self that it is a proper high end store thats the greatest thing to happen to the british high street, which in actual fact, it kinda is. it has done some pioneering work in the field of retail, all while sabotaging it's greatness by its lack of staff, modern technology & equiptment, and stupid beurocracy and heireachy which just confuses and wrecks everything.
my room is smelling quite faintly of rose's which is actually quite nice. just before i go to de pin my amazing bun i created nine hours ago, i just want to say that i havn't spell checked it, and i havent changed it at all (aside from slightly changing words so they are more understandable) so you can see me for what i really am and so you can appreciate the sheer ruggedness of my musings. see you later my dears, and i promise i will be back soon
i think i need to be honest here, and say that i have a fear of life at the moment. dont get me wrong, i enjoy life, there are many things i love doing (no pun intended) that are incredibly blissful for me, these include, hanging out with my friends, working, writing, reading, eating, snoozing in bed, pulling my hair grips out after a long day of my hair looking perfect (i joke i joke!), but ive come to the realization that i will never be able to own my own home. i can do it if i was married, or with a partner or is i had a flatemate/lodger. but i dont want it that way, i want to have it as my own. i am normally in a shared space, either at home or at work, so the idea of having a flat as my own blank canvass is a thrilling, yet at the same time daunting idea.
no i move on to Dan. he's this guy i met on Omegle of all places. hes not normally what i would go for, i usually go for the uber macho and muscly type, but he has an awesome personality, and is really charming while he makes me laugh. i kid you not, i was giggling the whole way through our second conversation like a love struck female japanese teen. yet i feel slightly wary, first of all he is a stranger, a man of the internet, he could be a psycho, (he might think that of me, and if he does, then he is correct) but then again, he could be the greatest man on earth. but the point that really scares me is the fact that this is the first time a man has shown proper interest in me. lets ignore my first ever boyfriend, we just used to tie each other up and play with each other. but that was two years ago. i chatted to an old college friend Emma friday night, and she commented on how ,much i had changed, in the space of nine months since i had last spoken to her properly. we shall also ignore Matthew, purely for the fact that it was just me being a delusional little slut. it really makes me wonder what i will become in another two years.
ive worked really hard recently. i work mid range retailer which tries to pretend and delude its self that it is a proper high end store thats the greatest thing to happen to the british high street, which in actual fact, it kinda is. it has done some pioneering work in the field of retail, all while sabotaging it's greatness by its lack of staff, modern technology & equiptment, and stupid beurocracy and heireachy which just confuses and wrecks everything.
my room is smelling quite faintly of rose's which is actually quite nice. just before i go to de pin my amazing bun i created nine hours ago, i just want to say that i havn't spell checked it, and i havent changed it at all (aside from slightly changing words so they are more understandable) so you can see me for what i really am and so you can appreciate the sheer ruggedness of my musings. see you later my dears, and i promise i will be back soon
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