ESC 2020 - The Grand Final

 Hello, and welcome to the grand final of th 2020 Eurovision song contst. I know it was cancelled but we are going to pretend it still went ahead, albeit with me and James as the jury and televote. Thats right, only our votes will count, and will decide who wins the 2020 contest. You can see our reviews of the semi finalists in the previous posts, so tonight will be about our automatic finalists, and then the revealing of our votes.

And if you're only just joining us now (shame on you) I'll be making our own little postcards, from the pictures I've taken while visiting the countries. And just to recap, our qualifiers from the first semi final were Cyprus, Lithuania, Norway, Ukraine, Ireland, Sweden, Russia, Malta, Macedonia & Belgium. The qualifiers from the second semi final were Georgia, Austria, Switzerland, Czechia, Serbia, Estonia, Bulgaria, Latvia, Poland & San Marino! I'm sure some of you agree with the qualifiers, others are surprised! But lets see the rest, and then you'll find out how our votes went.

Bayeaux combined all of my favourite things, thousand year old tapestries, beautiful churches and damn good Croque Monsior's!

The first of our automatic qualifiers is France, who has sent Tom Leeb. He is singing "Mon Alliee (The best in me)." It's a very bland song, with a very frequent repetition of the phrase you are the best in me. Normally, I find that France balances the mixture of French and English well in its entries, and the flow works well. This one however didnt feel balanced and felt more in English. I'm surprised there wasn't rioting on the streets of France. Anyway, as I was saying, it's a very bland song, the sort you would hear in a teen coming of age film over the end credits. Tom is handsome, but that's the highlight for me. A very forgettable entry

James - Feel a good romantic, soft song with a twist. Which took me half the song to work out. Lots of repetition, too

What I love most about Munich is the blend of old and new, modern and antique. The whole city has this fantastic feeling of ever changing fabric.

"Violent thing" is the German entry, performed by Ben Dolic. The video is curious, a young woman takes off her motorbike helmet, dark hair tumbling down over her shoulders before letting herself into a creepy looking disused warehouse. Ben follows her in, and we find ourselves in a (possible) illegal party. The song itself is quite fun and catchy, even if his vocals feel very processed, to the point they don't sound quite real. The song had a nice balance to it, and flows well, and I love the pause for the applause. I'm interested how it would have been performed onstage. And oh, the video changes, he grabs a young ladies hand, who drops her cocktail and walks away in disgust. Ooh the drama! But he then finds the young girl who was on the bike, and they share a kiss on the stage. Overall, not a bad entry.

James - He looked too young to be in eurovision. Teen nightclub with a story that I couldn't quite work out and got a bit lost. Felt a little bored at times, and everyone seemed to be overdressed for the nightclub. Song was toe tapping and a bit poppy/boppy, but lost interest halfway through. 

Rome's Porta Maggiore, a section of Roman wall, with the remains of two aquaducts running across the top. And now serves as a tram interchange. Nothing like reading the latin inscription while you wait for the tram!

Diadato is representing Italy in the contest with the song "Fai Rumore". The video is brilliant, it made you feel lost in the expansive yet intimate world he was in. The lyrics underneath was a brilliant touch, one of the lyrics "The storm brings me to you" was particularly touching. There was real passion in his voice, and the song soared with his vocals. Love the female backing vocal slightly echoing his words at times, giving it a beautiful sound, like she was repeating it back to him as if she was confirming. He also creates some wonderful tender sounding notes, particularly in the last chorus, which contrasts beautifully with the crescendo of music. This is a really good entry, and it would have done very well in the contest. 

James - Felt a little slow to start with but built up quickly, the song rose really nicely towards the end with the vocals and the music building up. However, it didn't draw me in and make me want to know more about it.

Amsterdam is beautiful, but even more beautiful is going to FEBO, a hot food vending machine shop that gives you as many snacks as your heart desires. Forget red light district, breaded chicken is the way forwards!

Up next we have hosts The Netherlands, who have Jeangu Macrooy performing "Grow". Its a very slow, acapella start, and it's not quite reeling me in. The video is interesting, with him singing to his reflection and different itineration's of himself. As the video goes on, I think the bit where he sings to himself in the mirror is the highlight. This is so boring I think I might go for a quick wee. By the time we start to get anywhere, the song is over. I think the Dutch chose this so they wouldn't have the expense of hosting again next year. Covid had other ideas though. 

James - Liked the video, but the song took a while to get going. It was sang well, but halfway through was worried it wasn't going anywhere, but it did pick up during the group scene. It had a nice feel good vibe towards the end.

Madrid is home to the Royal Palace, a stunning building overlooking Madrid and home to the Spanish royal family

Blas Canto is up next, representing Spain with the song "Universo". It's an interesting start, the cheeky short notes in the background, the video has these fun moments of people dancing covered in glitter. Hope you covered the floor in newspaper to make it easier to clear up. But after an interesting start, its getting a little stale, there's a bit too much repetition of "Universo", when we could be building up a bit more. There's a sharp long note before the final chorus which sets my teeth on edge. It was a promising start, but like the universe, it got lost a million miles away. 

James - He thought he was more of a fashion model rather than a singer, I suppose I'm trying to say it was style over substance. Felt very pop, one word interest to hook you in. I was a little lost, didnt really get the video or the song. 

I really struggled to choose a photo for the UK. Having lived in the UK (or more specifically England) all my life, I think I sometimes forget just how much history, culture and life there is here, and choosing one photo to sum it all up was impossible. So I found a photo of something entirely unique to England, and indeed to Hastings, these fisherman's huts. Built tall and narrow, it's so fishing nets can be hung up to dry and be repaired.

And our final entry this year is from the United Kingdom. The song is "My last breath" performed by James Newman. We get a bare chested man from up north give us a spoken introduction, before James's raspy vocals come in. There's a strong beat to hook us in, with more instruments coming in to build the song up. Then, we hit a hitch. The chorus starts, and its jarring in its suddenly gone very mainstream and in the style of cheesey/Corney pop, compared to the slightly indie feeling verses that had some interest to them. This again feels like a case of we had two songs and couldn't decide which one was best, so we took the verses from one, the chorus from the other and combined them to make an amazing entry. Except it doesn't work. Sorry but, the verses had potential, and was ruined by a very cheesy chorus. Kudos to the cinematography though, wherever that was filmed, it was beautiful there.

James - Didnt get the concept with the talking in the video, and didnt get the Nordic vibe. Had these odd quiet moments where it felt like it hadn't been mixed properly. Didn't get the link with the song and the video. 

And that's it, thats allthe songs reviewed! Me and James have been busy working out our votes (which we had to do fast as theres no interval act to keep you all entertained). So without further ado, lets get the results! James, can I have your votes please?

James - Wait what, do I have to present them or something? Wheres the bit of paper?

Thankyou for your points James, and that's La Pologne, douze points! Next up is me, can I have your votes please?

Lewis - Hello & good evening! Thankyou for a fantastic show, you are the greatest host! I'm excited to reveal the results. And its twelve points to Serbia!

La Serbie, douze points! And I think we have ourselves a winner!

Oh, we seem to have a tie, both Poland & Serbia with twelve points is. And the countback rule, they both recieved a set of twelve points. Do you know what? Lets have two winners for a change! Congratulations to both Poland & Serbia! This is Polands first win, and Serbia's second. Now, while they both perform again, lets have a look at the final scoreboard!

How did your favourites do? Complaints to the EBU! It's worth noting, if this was real, then congratulations to Poland, Lithuania & San Marino for achieving the best ever results!

And so, that completes the final. In the next post, I will reveal the semi final votes, as well as discuss what I think the results of the contest would actually be like. See you then!